Looking out at the beach from my room’s ten story back porch…now THAT’S a view. Watching sting rays swim in the ocean from beneath a parasail…now THAT’S a view. Looking up at the stars filling the sky above the sand…now THAT’S a view. And worshipping the Lord surrounded by my entire grade for one last time…now THAT’S a view.
These events sum up my time on my final trip with my senior class to Gulf Shores, Alabama. Throughout the 5 days, I looked around at my classmates and friends and felt like life was almost in limbo. Like someone had hit the pause button on life and all that mattered was these last few moments spending time together.
As the last night approached, I stood waiting for our grade to be summoned for the annual “share time” on the beach. In my moment of “I don’t know what to feel right now” I confided in two of my closest guy friends as we talked about how surreal all this was. “Is this really who I am?” I asked them. “Am I the person I’m supposed to be right now? Imagine if I had gone through high school with different friends, different interests, and a different personality. Would I still be ME?” We couldn’t believe that this moment was finally here. And yet, I didn’t feel anything. It was too surreal. I hadn’t planned on saying anything during the share time. I figured the grade had heard enough from me over the past few years haha. But as people began to share about how much they loved each and every person on this trip, I couldn’t let myself go without saying at least SOMETHING! After all, Little Rock Christian has been my home for 13 years…I owed it at least a “thank you”. I finally mustered the courage to stand up. It’s weird how I love getting up in front of people as someone else, but when it’s just me, with nothing standing in the way, that frightens me terribly. From the moment I opened my mouth I couldn’t hold back the tears. It had finally hit me that this was it. I couldn’t hide behind the safety of knowing exactly who my friends were, knowing exactly what classes I would take the next year, and knowing practically every face that I passed in the hallway. I spoke about how scared I was and how I didn’t know what was going to come next. But, when you think about it, all of life, school, friends, family, who you become, it all comes down to just one thing….knowing Jesus. I talked about how I had been so focused on what was in front of me that I had forgotten to look up…I had forgotten to look to God, solely to God. So I encouraged them not to miss out on God. I said what a blessing it was to know each and everyone one of them and that I loved them SO much! I have no idea if it made sense or if anyone got anything out of what I said, but in that moment, the peace of God that passes understanding fell on me.
It ‘s safe to say that that trip was a great way to send us off as a grade. Even though the idea of growing up is still so weird to me, I can look back at my years at Little Rock Christian and my senior year as a blessing. One of the chaperones on the trip, Mr. Smith, shared with us over the past 5 days that God puts people and places in our lives so that when troubles come, we can look back and remember. Remember God’s provision and how He displayed His love for us.
As I try on my “dress robes”, as I like to call them, I can’t believe that I am graduating….TODAY! But I know that whatever comes next and whatever happens, that all that matters is knowing Jesus and for now…that’s enough for me J
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